The Story of an Awful Cricket Player

At this moment, I am a very happy man indeed.

Why?

Simple, Ravi Bopara is not fit enough to be included in the Blighty squad that are playing West Indies in just a few days time.

He has suffered a muscle injury in his right thigh which will keep him out of the matches.

Now, I don't hate Bopara as a person, he's probably a top lad, he's probably got brilliant banter. But he isn't a very good cricket player. Sure he's better than me (which isn't hard - I'm awful) but no way is he worthy of another chance in the international spotlight.

I really don't understand all the disappointed faces of people who wanted to see him playing for England again. He had his chance, remember?

2007. The England selectors decided to take Ravi on a little holiday to Sri Lanka to play in a test series.

Bopara Bowled in England Colours...

3 ducks. In five innings Ravi managed to get 3 ducks. In the other two innings that he managed to get of the mark in he mustered up 42 atogether. For a guy in his first test series trying to stamp his mark on the game, this was definitely not the way to go about it. It wasn't as if he was really up against an amazing bowling line up either. Sri Lanka had Malinga and Murali but apart from that they didn't have any stand out bowlers. But still Bopara couldn't get any runs...

England lost the test series 1-0 and Bopara looked way out of his depth.

But don't worry, as the England selectors were on hand to give Ravi another shot at glory in the Blighty test side... (Nobody knows why)

It came in 2009, against a very ordinary West Indies side. In his first innings he scored his first ever test century. And then when England played Windies at home he played again... And in the first and second test he scored test centuries.

At this point a lot of people thought Ravi was the next best thing. He was the next Tendulkar. England's new star!

But no, we were playing West Indies who's bowling attack is terrible to say the least.

These centuries set him up to play in the Ashes. The test series between two brilliant nations with fantastic histories. Players such as Don Bradman, Shane Warne, Ian Botham and Graham Gooch have played in this series where the winner is congratulated with the urn. And now... Ravi Bopara...

Oh dear, in six innings Ravi didn't put on a total of anymore than 35. Including a duck and a one, it's fair to say he didn't frighten the Aussie bowlers in to submission. He was dropped for Trott who got a century on his debut.

Trott... More Impressive Than Ravi

England went on to win the Ashes that year, no thanks to Ravi. Trott saved it for us in the last test with his fantastic century on his debut. Note to self Ravi, that's the way to introduce your self for your country.

Because Trott has been so succesful since, Ravi has been out of the spotlight, until he was meant to be in the Blighty squad that were going in to a very feeble battle against The Windies. But now he is injured, and he's out.

If you're reading Ravi, I don't dis-like you. I just think your utterly awful and you definitely don't deserve to pull on an England shirt ever again. Unless your in the crowd watching that is. That would be ok.

Because of these chances Ravi has had, I don't think he deserves another throw of the dice. There are a lot of good players waiting in the England Lions side who I think deserve there shot now. And I'm glad Bairstow has got his shot. It's just unfortunate that his chance has come along because of a injury to Bopara...

So come on Bairstow, score several ton's and keep Ravi out of the test side.

Cheers

How Times Have Changed

In just under two weeks Blighty (England) take on West Indies. Blighty are top in the world rankings for now, in tests. And West Indies are 8th.

Every pundit, fan and player expects England to defeat them without too much trouble. And I also expect England to trounce the guys all the way back to the sunny Caribbean. But only a handful of years ago it was so different...

In 1984 a West Indies team led by Clive Lloyd visited England to play five test matches and three ODI's.



The Windies won 2-1 in the ODI series, victories at Old Trafford and Lords were enough to see WI through.



Don't Mess With These Guys



And then along came the tests. Andy Lloyd made his test debut for England. It didn't last long. Half an hour in, Marshall stormed in and bowled a bouncer which hit him on the ol' noggin. He spent several days in hospital and never played another test.



This set the tone for the series and West Indies white-washed Blighty on their own turf. 5-0. Viv Richards was outstanding. Every Windies player was outstanding. Blighty were humiliated.



How times have changed.





The glory days of the 70's and 80's and to some degree, 90's are over for the guys from the Caribbean. The lad that is Brian Lara came in the 90's and early 00's has now been and gone like our dreams of playing some cricket at the start of the cricket season in England. And they have now slipped to 7th in the ICC test rankings (8th if you count Zimbabwe)



They now rely on Chanderpaul to score their runs. And he does most of the time.  He is a brilliant batsman and West Indies only major threat. Kiemar Roach is also a good bowler. But I don't expect him to drill through the England batting line up because simply, he isn't that good.

Darren Sammy is their skipper. He's no Clive Lloyd. He is a good captain in an average team. Lloyd was a great captain in a great team.





The Current WI Skipper

Chris Gayle is also a brilliant player. He fell out with the WI cricket board and he hasn't played for a long time in international cricket. However, in the last week, he has made himself available for selection . But because of IPL 'commitments' he can't play in the test series. Which is a great shame because he could have made the Windies batting line up more competitive. I really do hope he plays in the short ODI series though. I can't think of anyone (apart from knobs) who wouldn't want to see the big huggable bear playing cricket on English soil.

Barath, Brathwaite and Powell are their three opening batsman. There nothing to shout about. In the recent series against the Aussies there only achievement was making sure the middle order got a bat.

I like Fiedel Edwards, he's one of their strike force bowlers and he seems to have a pretty cool personality from what you can see on your TV screen. Shame he isn't actually that good. His bowling average of just over 37 tells you that he isnt Glenn McgGrath.

The rest of the side are under-achievers, plenty of talent, not enough to show for it.  But they don't appear to have the stomach for the fight that is needed to cut it at the top of international cricket if they are to step up the world rankings.





Prediction - England win without doubt. Don't stick a bet on it though. I havn't checked but I'm pretty sure the odds would be absolutely terrible.

This series is a bit of a warm up for South Africa. So watch it, think about it and enjoy your prawn sandwiches, stereotypical English cricket fans.

Cheers





Aus v WI - The Story So Far...

T20's and ODI's came before this test series, but I don't really care about them. So I'm not going to pretend I watched them and write a lengthy review on what happenend, so lets get straight down to the five day format...

Two tests have been in this three test series. The Aussies are winning 1-0. But what's going on? Who's playing well? Who's marking their territory on test cricket?

The first test was a great example of how to bat in a Test Match by both sides.

WI batted first, and put on a brilliant team display. Everybody chipped in. Nobody scored in single digits, Chanderpaul lead the rampage. Scoring a cool 103 not out. Nicely done. K.Edwards and Bravo got 61 and 51 respectively. It was a fantastic batting performance and one I greatly enjoyed watching on the box. They declared on 449-9.

Cowan and Warner then strolled out, knowing they needed a good start to their innings. And they got one. Not a game changing opening partnership. But a decent 50 before the first wicket fell. A good foundation to build upon for the rest of the innings. Watson then came out, this man seems to get to a score of about 40 every time he gets to the middle, and then gets out. And he done this again, getting out for 39.

This made the score 133-4. Clarke and Hussey plodded along at a low run rate until Clarke got caught by Deonarine for a well played 73. It was not the most exciting innings, but a useful one for the Australian side by the skipper.

Hussey fell just short of 50 (bottled it) and Siddle was about as much use as a man with one leg in a ass kicking contest. He fell for a duck. Wade was still in the middle though, and was slowly putting runs on the board, but Fiedel Edwards soon sorted him out.

At this stage Aus are 285-8, and WI are looking to finish the job and get a big lead going into the second innings. This did not happen, a bowling teams nightmare happenend, the tail wagged. Just when they were looking to strike the final blow to the Aussies in the first innings, the tail wagged...

First Harris and Hilfenhaus put on 40, which was probably more than the WI wanted them to get, but then Lyon came out after Hilfenhaus was cleaned up, and him and Harris put on a remarkable 77 partnership! The aussies declared, behind. 406-9.

If you are from the Caribbean I don't think you would want me to talk about the next bit, your top 3 batsmen battled hard and bravely to put on a couragous 3 runs between them. And as my old man would say, "That is pretty shabby..." Chanderpaul was gone soon after, 17-4.

Then the mini recovery, a 50 run partnership brought them up to 67-4, but Darren Bravo got out. Caught Wade, bowled Siddle. 8 runs later, Deonarine gone. I'm not even going to talk about the rest, it wasn't great. It wasn't good. It was awful.

148 all out, only 10 boundries scored. Hilfenhaus claimed 4 victims, Harris 3.

The aussies needed just under 200 to win, and they got over the finish line, 7 down. Watson top scored with 52, Hussey and Cowan got 30's. 1-0 to the Aussies.

Ryan Harris was one of the players I thought played really well in the match, he got 5 wickets. But what really impressed me was his batting. His calm and collected 68 not out in the first innings really kept the Aussies in with a shout. If it wasn't for him they could have been all out for 350, and they could have lost the game.

Chanderpaul was the other player who has to be one of the players of the game. He was the only man to score a century in the game. And really put WI in a fantastic position after their first innings. Shame he got out for 12 in the second innings.

The second test was engulfed by rain, but it was still a great attacking game of cricket...

The Aussies batted first, put on a 50 partnership (again) and then Warner got out. And Shane Watson (The average man as I have now renamed him after he seems to get around 40 each innings he bats in) came out. He got 56, just over the average of 40 he usually gets when I see him play. When he got out it left Austrailia 178-5.

The Average Man At Work

Wade went soon after for 11, but then Mike Hussey scored a well played 73 (well done sir) and after Pattinson chipped in with a cheeky 30, the Aussies were all out for 311. Roach claimed the final wicket of Beer to bring up his five wicket haul. Take a bow Kemar.

Chanderpaul was WI knight in shining armour once again after their top 3 could only cunjure up a mere 26 runs between them. Barath, Brathwaite and Powell really were having a terrible series. Chanderpaul fell just short of another century. Lyon got him leg before.

Deonarine got 55 to help the cause, but the tail didn't wag on this occasion. And this left  the West Indies 257 all out.

Lyon got a five wicket haul, although in my humble opinion he is an absolutely terrible player and it's only a matter of time before the Aussies see the light and drop him. If your reading this Lyon, it's nothing personal, your just not very good.

By this point in the match the rain intervals were really starting to affect the game. A lot of time was being spent in the pavillion because of the rain, and a result was starting to get more and more unlikely...

In their second innings the Aussies looked very unimpressive, although obviously the rain hadn't helped, Watson got a duck (quack) and nobody took charge and dominated the crease. Ponting did get himself a helpful 42 though before he got out to Fiedel Edwards. They declared on 160-8, hoping they might have time to grab a victory if the weather stayed dry.

WI still wanted to win this game though, and they attacked from the start. 53-2 from just 11 overs. If it wasn't for the rain, the match might have got a winner. Every fan watching was yearning for the weather to stay dry and for the play to continue. But it rained, and play came to a halt. But thats cricket, and that's why we all love it...

Roach has to be my man of the match, how could he not be? Two five wicket hauls in one match, he took over half of the wickets for his team. Take a bow my son. What a brilliant performance. If it was not for mother nature it might have just won his team the game...

WI now need to win the final test to level the series...

They have made a great start, that is if it wasn't for Matthew Wade, he scored 100 to give the Aussies a decent first total of 328.

Can they pegg back Austrailia to make it 1-1? How do I bloody know? Maybe they will, maybe them won't. It depends what WI team shows up, the fat lazy bums who couldn't steal candy from a baby or the sharp, strong team who have a heart of gold.

Whichever team shows up, it's bound to be a cracking game...

Cheers.